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Should you confess to cheating after a one night stand? Show more Show less
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One night stands are one-off, sexual encounters free from emotional intimacy. But do they count as cheating? And should you tell your partner if you have had a one night stand while in a relationship with them?

Yes, cheating is wrong Show more Show less

One-night stands are a breach of trust.
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Confessing is honourable

Lying or keeping secrets from your partner about a one night stand can be more damaging than the infidelity itself. Trust is the most important factor in maintaining a healthy relationship.

The Argument

If you have a one night stand with someone, it generally means one time, no-strings sex where each participant tends not to see each other again. But that's not a reason to not tell your partner if you've strayed. People value honesty. Intentionally keeping information from your partner about a one night stand can sometimes be more of a violation of trust than the sexual betrayal in question. Confession means accountability. It also means respecting your partner's right to be told the truth. And lying or keeping secrets from your partner about a bad choice you made can cause your partner more pain if they find out much later. Lies and keeping secrets can be manipulative and calculating behaviour could lead your partner to never trust your words or actions again. If you are genuinely remorseful, value your relationship, and want to keep it, then you should come clean. Let your partner go through the emotions they are feeling and see if they are willing to let you work on restoring trust again. Owning up is the honourable thing to do.[1]

Counter arguments

If your relationship is already damaged and you and your partner don't want to repair or continue in your relationship, one night stands don't need to be mentioned. Your partner might already have said they don't want to know about your behaviour, which means full disclosure may not be necessary. It is also important to consider your partner's mental and physical state to ascertain if they are well enough to handle your infidelity. If it will cause them more harm than good, keep it to yourself.[2]

Proponents

Premises

Rejecting the premises

References

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201706/should-you-tell-your-partner-you-cheated
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201706/should-you-tell-your-partner-you-cheated
This page was last edited on Wednesday, 11 Nov 2020 at 19:01 UTC