**TL;DR -- Gender stereotypes regarding ADHD, and stereotypes on what types of behaviors indicate ADHD, result in an undiagnosed and untreated learning disorder in many girls, and misdiagnoses in many boys that are harmful and detrimental to their academic and social success.** > "ADHD impacts both genders equally, but [outdated stereotypes leave too many women undiagnosed](https://www.additudemag.com/add-in-women/) and feeling hopelessly ditzy, dumb, or depressed. ADHD often looks different in girls or women. Unfortunately, many clinicians may still not recognize and accurately diagnose their ADHD." I began my argument with this quote because it's essentially the story of my life. My older brother was diagnosed with ADHD almost immediately upon entering school for being "hyperactive" -- i.e, getting out of his seat at inappropriate times, being "loud and obnoxious," fidgety, etc. I wasn't diagnosed until I had almost graduated college. That's right -- I spent my *entire youth* thinking that I was dumb, that there was something wrong with me, that my brain worked differently from other kids because I was weird, and I suffered mentally, academically, and socially because of it. Why was my brother diagnosed so quickly, yet I was left in the dust, wracking my brain to try to figure out why I was so broken for so damn long? Because the stereotype goes that boys are more likely to get ADHD because ADHD = hyperactivity and bad behavior, which is associated more with boys than with girls. But the reality of ADHD couldn't be farther from the truth. Let's first take a look at why ADHD is over-diagnosed in boys. First we must realize that boys are *socialized* to be more hyperactive and troublesome than girls, because their disruptive behavior is dismissed (and thus encouraged) by the age-old adage that "[boys will be boys](https://blog.powertofly.com/boys-will-be-boys)." Meanwhile, girls are socialized to sit still and be quiet, because rambunctious behavior is not befitting of a lady. The stereotype is harmful because it makes boys a scapegoat for bad behavior, and their "hyperactivity" is often the result of [adults' preconceptions warping the way they view boys and girls' behavioral patterns](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29432029/). The truth of the matter is that [kids will be kids](https://www.teenink.com/opinion/all/article/211194/Kids-will-be-kids/), regardless of gender, and our desire to make little adults out of them is *harmful*, when instead we ought to be understanding of their open, curious, high-energy behavior. It's how they learn and grow. But we want to discourage this behavior because parents are too busy, too impatient, or too tired to deal with their kids' high energy. But I've gone off on somewhat of a tangent. Let's get back to ADHD. To *legitimate* ADHD. Girls are *under-diagnosed* because [their symptoms are often more subtle](https://www.additudemag.com/add-in-women/). ADHD manifests differently in boys as opposed to girls. Boys tend to have the hyperactive form of ADHD, and girls tend to have the *inattentive* form of ADHD. What does ADHD stand for? *Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder*. The disorder is multi-leveled -- a child may have attention deficit, hyperactivity, or both. Since girls tend to have attention deficit *without* hyperactivity, their symptoms often get overlooked, and their inattentiveness is dismissed as them "daydreaming" all the time. This was the case with me. I didn't cause a ruckus, so I was classed as neurotypical -- i.e, displaying no signs of ADHD or any other learning or behavioral disorder. I was just your average, everyday girl. Flighty, ditzy, dumb, always having my head in the clouds. That's what I grew up believing about myself. I was socially inept because I didn't think the same way my peers did, so I was often called weird. I processed things slower than most kids, so I was also perceived as being stupid. My thoughts have always gone at a mile a minute, and while I may have seemed outwardly calm, inside my brain was always a turmoil of thought strings that were always tangled, and I never could get a hold of them to untangle them because they were always fluttering in the wind so hard that I couldn't grasp them. *There was never a quiet moment inside my brain*, and no relief from the constant barrage of mental squirrel-chasing. I couldn't pay attention to lectures enough to take good notes. I would always have to re-read paragraphs several times in my textbooks because I would forget what I had just read seconds ago. My grades suffered because I didn't retain the material learned in class. And it made college a nightmare. So much so that I ended up quitting my intended career path because I just couldn't keep up. I suffered depression and had to seek therapy to determine just what the hell was wrong with me. And by the time I was actually diagnosed with ADHD, it was too late to learn the strategies and skillsets needed to cope with the disorder and save my tail from bottoming out my last semester in college. I was dismissed by my mentors as -- again -- flighty, ditzy, and unfit to continue my major. And to this day, I still feel inadequate, when the truth is that I was suffering from a learning disorder that, had I been diagnosed at an early age, I could have long conquered by the time I got to this critical stage in college. The under-diagnoses of girls and over-diagnoses of boys is incredibly unfair and tremendously harmful to both genders. Boys without ADHD get meds shoved down their throats that [can cause significant harm](https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/empowering-teens/risks-of-adhd-medication/) to persons without ADHD. Meanwhile, girls with ADHD suffer from low self-esteem, depression, and an untreated learning disorder which can affect their long-term academic success, and even knock them out of that career they've been studying so hard to establish. This is a trend that needs to stop. The stereotypes need to be busted, and a focus on socializing both genders equally and allowing kids to be kids will help normalize their behavior across the board so that children with ADHD symptoms can more easily be picked out. And most importantly, we need to *start paying attention* to our kids' behaviors -- especially the subtle ones that aren't readily visible. Because, believe me, you don't want your girls to have to suffer through what I did. And no boys deserve to be mislabeled and treated for a disorder that they don’t have.