**tl;dr: In mixed residential schools, boarders are often ill-treated. Their house guardians are unhappy people who hate the students. Students tend to be scarred by the abusive restrictions of the boarding school.** NOTE- This is not in all boarding schools in the world. This happens more in certain countries or with certain socio-economic backgrounds. Boarding schools in mixed residential schools are rigid institutions. These schools are factories that pump out emotionally scarred, traumatized students. Under the name of discipline, they impose strict rules. Children almost always cannot wear what they want. Under the garb of modesty, their dressing is monitored. The house-parents or adult 'caretakers' are among the worse people to be around. These house-parents are usually very unhappy people. They take out their anger and frustrations on the students. They are unfeeling and almost unable to empathize with situations. Students are often so restricted. They rebel more strongly. Boarders have a notorious reputation of being callous, unfocused students whose sole aim is to cause trouble. Teachers can easily pick out who is a non-border and who resides at school. Students are not only abused, but some tend to abuse each other. They jump on beds late at night when their roommate is asleep. They do this regularly. They scream and shout during study hall, even if some of their friends are struggling in school. Sexual conversations are most prevalent. In schools that do not offer comprehensive sex education, peers are the most common sources. They offer late-night conversations that completely misrepresent sexual practices and sexualities. Boarders are often called to meetings to be scolded. There is rarely appreciation from faculty. The already notorious boarders tend to blow off homework most times. They have poor relationships with their house faculty, especially if they have been boarding since a young age. Boarders left without the care of people who love them are at the mercy of school caretakers. They are focused on just earning their pay, and most often than not, use abusive words towards students.

**tl;dr To say boarding school are 'abusive' and loveless' is an archaic and inaccurate conclusion. Instead, living for years among others in a boarding house can feel like developing a second family.** This opinion is almost impossible to capture due to the varied experiences at boarding schools. Clearly, for some, boarding schools may feel abusive and loveless however this is also the same for day schools. Overall, it is not true that boarding schools can be equated with a word that means 'improper usage or treatment of a thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit... [including] many forms, such as: physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices, crimes, or other types of aggression.' Although it may be accurate that boarding schools have strict rules, this is not to emotionally scar or traumatise students but instil a sense of respect of obedience that parents would be harbouring at home. Furthermore, uniform cannot be seen as prison clothing but instead a symbol of unity between a body of pupils - an implementation that many non-boarding schools also take. After lessons or sports pupils are free to wear what they want in the same degree of modesty that parents would wish for. Housemasters, housemistresses, tutors, nurses and any other form of 'caretakers' cannot be branded 'unhappy' and 'unfeeling'. Conversely, those who usually choose such roles have a long history in pastoral care and a desire to create the best possible atmosphere for students to excel and be happy in. Some of these people will support students throughout their time at school and consequently form trusting relationships that may proceed for years after. They provide students with an opportunity to discuss personal matters that they may not wish to discuss at home. Evidence that boarders are more rebellious than day pupils is impossible to capture as the latter may be 'rebelling' in out-of-school hours under no supervision. Finally, by waking up and going to sleep with the same group of people, boarding school students learn valuable people skills and lessons of patience and maturity. Not only are boarding schools not abusive or loveless but they are protecting and loving. Students can form stronger bonds with friends and have a stabler environment in which to focus on school studies and be happy in important childhood/ teenage years.

**TL;DR - I believe boarding schools can be beneficial for students.** Many boarding students in the school I attended developed close bonds with their fellow boarding peers. These bonds and relationships have expanded across countries and continents. They became family to each other and also developed close bonds with their house managers and residential staff. Boarding schools also promote independent living at a younger age. Pupils can still be close to their family members. With the ability to use Skype, Zoom or Whatsapp, pupils are not without the love of their families as their families are only a message away. I do not think boarding schools are 'abusive' or 'loveless'. Previously, before the introduction of pastoral care, I am sure certain boarding schools were. But now the standards have changed. There is now a promotion of independence with love and care for each other and for staff caring for pupils. This is carefully regulated and assessed to make sure the schools are providing an environment of care and support.

TL;DR - Boarding school provides social and personal development. I think going to a boarding school can be very beneficial for children. This personal development is vital, but another one among the advantages of visiting a private school is social skills. Students learn unrivalled levels of understanding and co-operation during this diverse, close-knit and caring school community. Also, children have the chance to practise different hobbies and meet people from all over the world, which is very interesting to acquire cultural knowledge.

It is perhaps overly sweeping to say that boarding schools are abusive and create a love-less environment. For some, boarding school is something they will treasure as they make friends for life and enjoy the gold standard in education. That said, boarding schools fail a large number of pupils in a supportive environment which caters to difference. Their inflexibility and devotion to tradition can create an intimidating atmosphere that can crush those who do not wish to conform to the school’s vision for their pupils. The words many will hear during their time at a boarding school are ‘muck in’. This dictum points to an inability to distinguish the needs of different pupils. Instead, they force pupils to conform to their vision. These issues can be exacerbated by the boarding house system which is often hierarchical. When a collection of teenagers live in the same building, a sink-or-swim world develops. It is a popularity contest and those who win will likely enjoy their boarding school experience. Conversely, the others can be ostracised or subjected to inescapable ridicule which is explained away by the expression ‘banter’. This may appear to be hearsay, but studies have shown the long-lasting impact an unhappy boarding school experience can have. Joy Schaverien published Boarding School Syndrome: The Psychological Trauma of the 'privileged' Child which details the traumatic experiences of individuals at boarding schools. Schaverien describes how a child who is trapped in the ruthless boarding school regime will feel like a captive. All aspects of their life are scheduled, with little autonomy. This is not to compare a boarding school, a bastion of privilege, to a prison. However, for those who are unhappy, boarding school becomes a bubble that is inescapable and almost claustrophobic. These statements could be read as the whinings of an overly privileged child who is exaggerating their experience. Naturally, this can be true but to say that it is the norm is to dismiss the experiences of others. If Schaverien’s book is examined properly, the long term mental health effects are stark and often chronic. This is not hyperbole but tangible. Therefore, boarding schools are not always abusive and love-less. That said, they can be, which is why the statement ‘boarding schools are abusive and create a love-less atmosphere’ must be recognised as having some truth to it. *Disclaimer: The views expressed above are reflective of the writer’s own experience, so please respect this.