I believe it was janelle monae who said this in "screwed" with zoe kravitz. good song btw 10/10 would recommend

An oversimplification. I've had sex that had nothing to do with power. Just... motions basically. Two people agreeing to come together for no reason other than to fulfill a mutual need. I have no leverage on this random person. I don't know this person. They didn't pressure me into it (I don't know whose idea it even was). How can it possibly be about power? I'm just horny bro lol edit: I've also had tons of loving sex that wasn't about power. I've done things I don't like for the express purpose of pleasing my partner. They've done the same for me. Sex isn't about power for me. Maybe empowerment at times, but not power over the partner. Sex is a fun coop game.

**When people say that everything is about sex, they are talking about the physical aspect of sex that affects a lot of things in our life and in society.** For example, making fictional characters sexually attractive or buying a car that is marketed towards you as ‘sexy’. This is shown by the book ‘Fifty Shade of Grey’ nearing half a [billion dollars in gross sales](https://www.businessinsider.com/heres-the-staggering-sum-of-cash-fifty-shades-of-grey-has-grossed-since-it-first-went-on-sale-2012-8?r=US&IR=T#:~:text=We%20estimate%20that%20%2250%20Shades%20of%20Grey%22%20has,of%20Random%20House%27s%20sixth-month%20revenues%20for%20the%20year). in its first year after release. And when people say that sex is actually not about sex at all and is about power, they are referring to the complex power dynamics and the vulnerability of sex. Along with the pleasure and intimacy that comes with sex, the things that also come tied up in sexual relations are letting a wall down, a fear of rejection, going for what you want, getting what you want, feeling empowered and powerful, being validated and the fear of rejection. And sex is also so socially praised, especially with heterosexual men, that ideas of ‘winning’ and ‘success’ are also tied up in sexual power dynamics. Furthermore, the idea of there being a dominant and a submissive role in sex is very commonplace. And though this is not a physical feeling of power, it is rather that experiences of powerfulness or powerlessness are something that people might be attracted to. Sexual language, pornography and positions all play into this idea of sex being about power.

**This statement puts forward a pretty reductive view of sex and power and how human beings relate the two. It's a sociobiological idea; that everything boils down to [sexual selection.] (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960982210015198)** - When we think that 'everything' is about sex, I'm assuming 1) that sex means the sexual act itself, and 2) that we're talking about the human instinct towards sex which = reproduction. It's the idea that everything we busy ourselves with in day-to-day life (work, exercise, dating etc.) is all to the end of mating. - As the culmination of this effort, the act of sex might be 'about power', because of the [hierarchy] (https://themindsjournal.com/alpha-to-omega-socio-sexual-hierarchy/) it creates; those who are able to perform the reproductive act and those who aren't. - Because of the implication of reproductive motivation, this idea only really works when applied to heterosexual ['sex'.] (https://www.bustle.com/p/whats-the-definition-of-sex-it-depends-on-your-sexual-orientation-study-finds-2981038) - I would say that this is a reductive view of everyday human motivations and of sex. For one thing, it doesn't account for the role [love] (https://theconversation.com/what-is-love-139212) plays in both of these scenarios.