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TL;DR - Love at first sight isn't actually love, but strong attraction
There are certain qualities known to be reflective of love. These include trust, commitment, passion, intimacy, comfortability and others. Within the moments of first meeting someone, some of these can be felt such as a slight passion, but not to the extent of love. When falling in love you learn that you can trust an individual, that you can commit, that you are completely comfortable around them.
When you first meet someone, there is know way you can know that you can trust that person and feel completely comfortable in love at first sight. The extent to which people in relationships report feeling intimacy and commitment and passion toward their partners exceeds the emotions felt by people who experience love at first sight. Yet the love-at-first-sight experience appears open to these emotions to a greater extent than first meetings where love at first sight is not reported.
Rather than love at first sight, it is a strong pull or attraction to someone that people feel that opens the possibility for a relationship to develop for an individual (Zsoks et al., 2017). Love at first sight can happen multiple times, and maybe the instances where it fizzles or simply never translates into a relationship are forgotten.
Resources:
Zsok, F., Haucke, M., De Wit, C. Y., & Barelds, D. P. (2017). What kind of love is love at first sight? An empirical investigation. Personal Relationships, 24, 869-885.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201801/is-love-first-sight-real
https://www.byrdie.com/love-at-first-sight-science
https://tcnjsignal.net/2019/11/11/classic-signals-love-at-first-sight-debunked/
The one time it exists and lasts forever is a mother seeing her child for the first time
While not scientifically, two people can create an illusion of love at first sight. According to a 2017 study from the University of Groningen, love at first sight may be a positive illusion.[1] Meaning you think you loved the other person immediately due to the strong feelings you have further down the line in your relationship.
Therefore, love at first sight does exist but more as a memory bias than a scientifically backed reaction.
[1] https://www.insider.com/is-love-at-first-sight-real-2018-6
Love at first sight exists.
I say this because this has happened to me.
I will not give a lot of personal details, but the I knew right away when I felt sexual attraction the moment I met a particular individual that would go on to become one of the most important people I ever met in my life. No, we are not romantically together--she was, and still is, with someone else--but I knew, that deep down, that the first time I met her was the beginning of a beautiful, fortuitous friendship.
Also, it is precisely why we're not romantically involved that I recommend individuals do not pursue a relationship instantly. After all, true beauty comes from within, and there's only so much we can know about a person in a single meeting.
There's also scientific evidence to back up the idea of 'love at first sight'. Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D. on Psychology Today. Although, the study discloses that the concept of 'love' is subjective, the feeling of 'love at first sight' as a "strong initial attraction" that will drive numerous people towards pursuing a relationship. Whether a relationship happens, is anyone's guess.
So, when people say they fell in love at first sight, they usually mean they experienced a strong intimate connection as opposed to the type of love married couples experience for each other. Love, after all, is a mysterious emotion. And what makes love so fascinating is the mystery of it.
CITATIONS
Whitmore, Travis. “The Effectiveness of Short-Selling Bans.” Statestreet.Com, State Street Corporation, 2020, www.statestreet.com/content/dam/statestreet/documents/Articles/The_Effectiveness_of_Short-Selling_Bans_Final.pdf.
Ayn Rand's theory of objectivism tells us that humans will always make decisions that fulfil the desires of individualism and productive possibilities. This is of course not a definite assumption to make of the general public, however if we assume that the average person will strive to fulfil this objective, then love at first sight must exist.
The brain produces dopamine and serotonin, according to neuroscientist Dr. Trisha Stratford [1]. upon first sight of one's potential partner. However with a divorce rate In the UK of 20.1 percent after 10 years of marriage, the theory of objectivism can be implied as the answer as to why this is the case.
As the chemicals fade away and the objective principals of marriage become daily life, the reasons for staying with someone if this theory is correct don't hold up. Hence, love at first sight must exist, or why would so many people divorce in light of an objective life that doesn't fulfil one's personal desires?
We could talk about this all day! The topic of love, at first sight, is huge. I present my view from the viewpoint of someone to whom we are attracted.
I believe that love exists at first sight, but I do not understand the conditioned expectations?
Is it not possible to fall in love at first sight without ever wanting to act on it? Without the desire of having it in physical reality? Do we doubt it, when we act? Since we seek feedback from our actions to validate our perceptions of another? In simpler words is reciprocity required?
From a mental perspective, is it healthy to remember, imagine and hold onto the memories of our first sight love(s)? Would it not be better if we learnt how to let go or forget?
I love this film by Nacho Vigalondo; I think it perfectly illustrates what I am trying to say.
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