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https://www.parlia.com/o/men-are-natural-love-cheats

6 comments

It has been routinely found that men are more likely to cheat on their partners than women. The reasons for this have been linked to their 'natural' recklessness towards sex, and a biological desire to avoid monogamy. Though there may be some truth to this, I think we are all natural love cheats. Defining love cheats in both emotional and physical terms, I believe women have both the natural desire to form emotional and romantic connections with people other than their partners, and also the more opportunity to do so. Whilst a lot of women do not act on these compulsions, and may only explore the emotional and less morally reprehensible side, I think that it is wrong to say men are more **natural** love cheats. For me, a love cheat is all encompassing, and although I think men perhaps engage with the physical element of 'cheating' more openly and regularly, women are equally likely to cheat, but perhaps in less obvious terms.
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Another distinction is that non-monogamy and cheating are not synonymous. Group relationships or open relationships are consensual but not monogamous. Cheating would be breaking the agreement.
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Against
IXH8265y ago
I believe that the biological argument is used as a justification for being a cheater, when in fact regardless of desires it is a choice to be unfaithful to a partner. It unfairly paints boys and men as hypersexual and animalistic or incapable of controlling their desires. It is harmful to instill in them the toxic idea that they must "want it" in order for their expression of masculinity to be normal. This is especially true since it ties in with the same narrative peddled onto men who are assaulted they are inherently sexual and primitive and they should be grateful since it is in their nature to want to sleep with women. Consent in men matters just as much as it does in women and to imply men are inherently sexual does them a disservice. This idea does not exist in a vaccum and has lasting implications. Furthermore, cheating is common and increasingly so in the digital age. Everyone's ideas of what constitutes as cheating will differ since their boundaries are nuanced and tailored to the individual. It is easy to do and happens for many reasons and people of all genders can do it if they so wish. Thus, while it may be common in men it is also worth debating how we even determine what cheating is outside of the physical element. If it was nature, men could choose to have multiple partners without cheating but instead choose to betray their partners. Often for the thrill of it or to feel desirable which are selfish reasons proving it may be to do with factors surrounding their self esteem or psychology. Overall, it is not just men who cheat and cheating itself is complicated to define. It also certainly isn't "natural" and to say so would be to call faithfulness unnatural.
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I expected this to go a certain way, but it was quite nuanced and well thought out.
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IXH8265y ago
thank you, i appreciate that.
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Commentary
What does, "Men are natural love cheats" mean? Can we get a rewording or something?
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