It took me a while for the concept to click. Like it all sounded super petty at first. But once I understood it, I saw examples in my own life. Like, if you're a guy and don't understand, picture being in a group of girls and they're like "you're pretty nice...for a guy". It might seem harmless, but next thing you know, you feel like you have to "make up for" being a guy. You feel people view you with hostility by default. And they didn't even have to mean anything bad by it for that to have happened. That's what it's like for, say, non-white people in the US. "Where are you from? China? Japan?" "Umm.....Arkansas". It seems mundane. But that person has to deal with the general perception that they aren't a "regular" American. That they will never be just seen as "American", but as "some other type of American" at best. Nobody should ask you to overhaul how you talk or micro-manage all your thoughts. Just try to do it within reason. And if you slip up just say "Oh shoot I meant it this way. My bad." I think the "aggression" part is what throws people off. Most of the time it isn't aggressive. Many times, it is well-meaning. I think the title puts people in a super defensive stance rather than an understanding one.

Microagressions are not rare, they are a real problem that occurs frequently and become a talking point in the communities affected to try and assure one another that they aren't alone in these isolating experiences. Being othered and made to feel that you can't possibly be "from here" is something that I and others have dealt with for not fitting the mould of a "British" person in spite of claims of multi-culturalism. This is one of the most insidious and common forms of microagressions that is almost universally experiences by POC and is proof that they are real. Microaggressions are the product of ignorance and show how deeply ingrained racism is in our society since for people who hold unconscious biases but have no ill will towards others, they can find themselves contributing the problem unknowingly and proving how much work there is to be done. It makes it difficult to feel comfortable anywhere as no matter how kind and considerate someone is you'll never know which stereotypes they hold about you and how their perception of you is tainted by them.

I believe that microagresssions are a poor form of communication. I was not aware that they even existed until i was a mature adult. I think that they are a form of programing that not all individuals are aware of, and im not certain if they are a useful form of communication. Personal experience tells me that until you become aware of its existence it has a blind power to minipulate .