**It depends on age and motivation** - A large age gap is a problem if it creates an imbalance of power. If the younger partner is especially young (e.g. teenage or potentially slightly older if the person is less mature), the relationship can be judged as creepy. A teenager's brain is [not fully developed](https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=3051) and their lack of life experience automatically sets up a dynamic that is wide open to abuse and manipulation. - However, the older the younger partner is, the more mature they are likely to be and the less a large age gap suggests that the relationship is manipulative or controlling. - Age gap relationships can work well. Some studies even suggest that age gap couples are [more satisfied in their relationships](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.1471-6402.2007.00408.x). From an evolutionary standpoint (in the case of heterosexual couples), it has been suggested that women look for resources in older men and men look for vitality in younger women. Other people may just be attracted to maturity that comes with age, or just have a similar outlook on life despite the age gap. - A big age gap can be judged as creepy when the older partner is someone who is only ever open to dating younger people. I suspect many men date younger women (the most common dynamic for age gap relationships) because of a sexist belief that middle-aged plus women can’t be attractive. Other studies suggest it is the [admiration of younger women that men want.](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jan/09/men-prefer-younger-women-not-for-their-firmer-bodies-but-their-greater-admiration) Other people may always need to be more dominant in the relationship, which they may get from choosing a much younger partner. - However, if the relationship is instead based on mutual love and respect, shared goals, and healthy communication, then who are we to judge?

**So long as all parties are of age, there’s no cap on who attracts who, and to say one preference is creepy isn’t anyone’s place.** DISCLAIMER - All references made are in regards to consenting, of age adults. Whether it be age, race, gender, class, or creed, these differences can sometimes make up the best part of a relationship. To shame one is to shame them all, and who gives us that right? All relationships have hardships that need to be taken into account, and each couple varies case by case. For some, the [maturity equilibrium](https://www.wellandgood.com/age-gap-relationships/) commonly met when an older man dates a younger woman is actually beneficial. Recent studies show that nearly a quarter of [same sex](https://www.talkspace.com/blog/relationships-age-difference-gaps/) relationships include a partner that is 10+ years their partner's senior. Creepiness aside, the key factors to an 'acceptable' relationship include: →[Communication](https://www.capitalfm.co.ke/lifestyle/2018/04/05/10-essential-elements-of-a-strong-relationship/) - Being open with your partner is imperative to encouraging clear, honest communication. →[Empathy](https://www.bolde.com/7-fundamental-elements-needed-healthy-relationship//) - The capacity for understanding between couples is detrimental to a relationship’s success. →[Affection](https://goals.com/5-key-elements-of-a-great-relationship/) - Love often stems from affection, and one's ability to demonstrate their love to their partner is crucial. →[Respect](https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-key-elements-that-lasting-relationships-must-have-dg/) - The ability to treat your partner as an equal is dependent upon respect. →[Trust](https://wellness.jhu.edu/12-elements-of-healthy-relationships/) - Lack of trust spawns nothing but problems. When entering a relationship, you’re entering a partnership that hinges on reciprocal confidence. Most successful relationships are due in part to the ability to form a common bond while being able to learn from one another. Age is just another ingredient that adds a little flavor to a relationship.

**What business does a 30 year old have with a 20 year old?** There are obviously exceptions to this opinion. When you are over a certain age, the difference between two people becomes less and less of an issue. Many people believe that anyone over the age of consent can be with whoever they want of whatever age. And obviously, yes they can be with whoever they want. But to me, there _is_ something creepy about even a 20 year old and a 30 year old. Two people of these ages are at _completely_ different stages in their lives. At 20, you could be still in university, or working your first entry level job or doing an apprenticeship. You’re likely to still live at home and still be financially dependent on your parents in some way. You’re likely to still be friends with your school circle and frequent the same places you always have. Whereas a 30 year old could be _9 years_ out of university or 12-14 years into their working lives. They are likely to be living alone or alone with friends and to be financially independent. They are likely to have travelled more and experience more. These two people, to me, are at completely different stages of their lives. And when you get to the age of the latter person, in my opinion, you should have more maturity than wanting to be bothered with a 20 year old in a romantic context.