Honestly, it ought to be in equal amounts... What's the point of putting more work on one or the other? That just stresses people out and makes dating a chore.

Let people do what makes them feel comfortable. If they want to be the initiator, great. If not, they shouldn't have to force it, no matter what gender they are. Society places enough pressure on people. We don't need another "rule" to have to follow.

Without excusing it, I've often wondered whether the old-fashioned model where full responsibility for initiating sex fell on the man isn't responsible for a whole raft of bad behaviour.

For the man, the encounter is framed as conquest rather than consent, and the woman is framed as someone who would initiate but cannot, for social convention (remember Baby it's Cold Outside?). What could go wrong?

In a study published in the [Journal of Personality and Social Psychology] (https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=51114), it was found that in relationships, more than 60% of men initiated sex more often than women. I feel like this is largely to do with cultural and societal perceptions of relationships. From a young age, women are culturally taught and conditioned to be pursued, whilst men are taught to pursue. Of course, this comes with another set of issues entirely. Who else from a young age was told if a boy was being mean to you, then he liked you?

In a relationship, equity is important. Therefore, maybe if women did initiate romantic relationships more, it would maybe begin to break down these rigid social expectations of men and women that have been set in stone for so long.

The dating app [Bumble] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bumble_Inc.) has actually created a really smart system that sets them apart from other dating apps as in heterosexual matches, only female users make the first contact with male users. This encourages women to be more confident and assertive in their relationships, and also takes the stress away from male users for once, as they don't have to be pressured to make the first contact.