you wouldnt just randomly walk up to someone and hug them w/o warning or permission, would you?

**Anytime you touch someone or enter their personal space, you should do so with their clear permission.** Hugging involves a complete invasion of the other person's personal bubble. Not only are you assuming that they are comfortable being touched, you are assuming they feel safe being embraced with a large amount of bodily contact. Why would someone not want to be hugged , and what might happen if you hug them? - Those with injuries, visible or not, might experience pain when hugged. Hugging could also aggravate an injury. - People may only be comfortable being hugged by certain individuals, in which case they would take offense or feel uncomfortable because of your advances. - Germaphobes, individuals who are hyperaware of contamination, fearful of germs, and/or obsessive about cleanliness, might not feel safe being hugged. - Some people might associate hugging, touching, or closeness with a history of trauma. Hugging them would cause immense stress and might trigger distressing memories. Similarly, they may even associate your appearance with someone from an unpleasant past, again making your proximity a potential source of stress. - The norms of non-verbal communication differ depending on cultural background - .e.g, kissing someone on the cheek in France is commonplace, whereas the same greeting in India would not be received positively. [No-contact cultures](https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110810105313794), such as China, Japan, Norway, Sweden, and Finland, tend to "maintain more interpersonal distance" and might be more averse to being hugged. A hug could be construed negatively and/or cause offense. When, for any jubilant motive, you want to hug a stranger, it is highly unlikely you would be aware of any of the above considerations. Asking for consent is the safe, respectful, and polite approach. Even among friends and family, a person's comfort can change. - While your relationship with the person can certainly inform _how_ you seek consent - sometimes, for example, it may suffice to indicate your intentions with a wide-arm gesture and a soliciting pause - it is better to ask than to assume. - As mentioned previously, the other person may not see your relationship as one that warrants hugs, or their preferences may have changed. - Sometimes, a person may not be in the _mood_ for a hug, and positive experiences with unsolicited hugs in the past would lead you astray; asking for consent is the only way to find out if the person is open to being hugged. Establishing that hugs require consent in society may also help encourage consent-seeking in other scenarios. - Children can often be recipients of unsolicited hugs, including those from family members. Adults can take advantage of an infant's helplessness and, while their intentions may only be to appreciate and cuddle an especially endearing chubby child, it is needless to say that even children feel discomfort at being held against their will. - Encouraging children to ask for permission before hugging, or teaching them that they themselves can grant or refuse permission to be hugged, can emphasise the importance of consent at an early age. - It may also protect unsuspecting children from abusive advances, as it encourages them to actively recognise, and speak in defense of, the agency they have over their personal space. For a more contemporary argument, the wake of the pandemic has potentially left people more reserved in their comfort with direct contact. Asking for consent, then, is also important from a public health standpoint.

**TL;DR -- It depends on if you know the person well enough or not.** I think common sense ought to dictate when it's appropriate to hug someone without having to ask permission. You shouldn't just randomly hug someone you get into a conversation with at the bus stop without asking. You shouldn't walk up to a perfect stranger and hug them for no reason without asking. You shouldn't spontaneously hug your waiter for giving you a free birthday cake without asking. But your family member who you haven't seen in years and you love and miss dearly? Chances are, they love and miss you just as dearly, and want to know that you feel the same. A hug is a nonverbal way of showing this. Your best friend who needs a little emotional support? An unexpected hug can go a long way in affirming that they are loved by the people in their lives. Your lover who is craving spontaneous physical intimacy? Asking if you can hug them would definitely spoil the mood. My point is, if you know the person well enough to know when a hug is appropriate and when it isn't, then for God's sake, just hug them and stop walking on eggshells around the people that you love. Society has gotten far too uncomfortable with showing affection, and people really need to chill out.

**A hug isn't a lunge. Before you hug someone, you kinda size each other up to see whether it's a goer, and then move** Nobody just hugs. If you don't know the person very well, you raise your arms or make like you're up for a hug and they either do the same or kinda make it obvious they'd prefer not... I'm not going to preface every hug - an expression of warmth and intimacy and affection and care - with a consent question, because it devalues those very feelings I'm trying to express.

Asking for consent for a hug is like asking your friend whether you can use their toilet paper. Who the hell is going to say no? Do you ask permission to shake their hand? Even I'm slightly autistic and I don't say no usually. Consent should only be given if there's a decent chance of a no, and the thing at issue has serious repercussions for the other person. Hugging, kissing, handshakes don't have serious repercussions, just maybe some awkwardness.