There can be a prejudice in some Catholic communities towards people who no longer practice but still wish to marry in the church. Accusations of “lapsed Catholicism” can be insulting and dismissive of that person’s experiences as part of that community, former or otherwise. Individual experiences of being raised in the Church and in faith- for the two aren’t necessarily mutually inclusive- are diverse and varied. You might argue that a microcosm of this can be seen in communities of children who have been educated in Catholic schools. Throughout both primary and secondary education the school guides children through the reception of sacraments, the teachings of the church and of the bible. In time children learn and grow; finding what faith means to them. Often, it isn’t faith in a God or religion. Sometimes it is and sometimes they grow into adults who remain very engaged in their worship. Something that isn’t spoken about often enough is that a changing or evolving belief doesn’t negate those experiences that the individual who no longer describes themselves as a believer had in the past. Though plenty of people don’t consider a Catholic upbringing as important to their sense of who they are today, some people do. For some it might be the teachings that still bear relevance; for others it could be the people they grew up with and others that it was a part of their family heritage. Whether you still believe or you don’t; you may one day find someone you want to marry-your partner being secular should not be an obstacle to overcome. You share with your loved one the things that have mattered you and that matter to you now. There’s a beauty in the exchange, and acknowledgement of those things can be a celebration of them. Marriage between a baptised and a non-baptised person is no less a celebration and (provided both parties are willing) it should be accepted freely as a person’s recognition of their own culture and heritage- no matter where their life has lead them, or to whom.

While I am all the way in for any two people to get married, I do not agree with the statement that a baptised person should be married to a non-baptised person in the church. First of all, there are fundamental problems with this proposition and one of them is how a non-baptised person can take part in the marital religious ceremony if the person is not baptised. The participation and taking of the sacrament in such a religious ceremony presupposes that the partner is also baptised, and therefore can further proceed with the process of holy matrimony. The same goes for Christian Orthodox people, and this is a prerequisite of the Church. According to 'Canon Law Made Easy', the Catholic church indeed recognises baptisms from other religions and can sanctify a marriage between a baptised Catholic and a baptised non-Catholic. Secondly, it is part of Catholic faith that marriage, according to Father Martin Pitstick, 'is a sacrament of service, namely, the service of helping your spouse and children get to Heaven. The purpose of marriage is thus both unitive (for the good of the spouses) and procreative (for the good of raising children). How will you be able to achieve these goals if your spouse does not share your most foundational value of faith?', a question asked in terms of the eyes of the Church. It is a valid question with regards to the process of the ceremony per se, which is established with the culture / ethics of the Church in mind. I believe that if you are to choose the religious path of getting married, you should respect the philosophy behind the practices. If for any reason you do not agree with the law about marriage between baptised and non-baptised people, you should definitely follow the path of civil marriage, which is just as valid. There are options you can choose from, based on the kind of marriage you want for you and your partner. Works Cited Pitstick, Martin Fr., 'Marriage Between Baptized and Unbaptized' (2019) <https://dmsbcatholic.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Disparity-of-Cult-flier.pdf > [accessed 27 January 2021]. Canon Law Made Easy (2013) <https://canonlawmadeeasy.com/2013/01/17/cath-marry-non-christian-sacrament/> [accessed 27 January 2021].