Trigger warning- This opinion piece will address some explicit themes such as abuse and sexual intercourse. Both the movie and book franchise 50 Shades of Grey promotes abusive relationships as it sees all aspect of main character Anastasia’s life controlled by her partner Christian. The movie is branded to be about BDSM (defined by Dictionary.com as sexual behaviour involving restraints and submission). [1] However, it is important to emphasise that BDSM is generally safe while kept in a sexual context, yet this movie demonstrates how all aspect of Anastasia’s life are controlled by her partner. Namely, Christian creates a contract which determines how Ana eats, dresses and even what contraception she takes with no regard to the impacts this will have on her. This is evidence of incredibly toxic behaviour yet romanticised to make women see male control over their lives as the norm, reinforcing misogyny as well as abuse. Ana is also abused in the bedroom, while she is given a safe word to use if she is uncomfortable during sexual activity, when she does use it Christian fails to even ask if she is okay. In the book it narrates Ana’s thoughts during sex as ‘no, no, no please’ and yet this is not translated to a story of marital rape, rather a twisted love story regarding how much Christian cares for Ana! Christian is also guilty of manipulation both in and out of the bedroom. For example, he intentionally prevents Ana’s sexual pleasure to demonstrate ‘how frustrated he feels.’ This portrays Ana as a way to get his emotions out, when what he most likely needs is therapy. Again this portrays women as an emotional sponge for all men’s frustrations, as echoed by feminist Fran Ansley who argues ‘women play their traditional role as takers of shit, they often absorb frustration at their own powerlessness and oppression.’[2] Demonstrating how 50 Shades of Grey is dismantling what feminism is working towards- equality. This story could be an effective way of demonstrating and warning people of this form of toxic sexual and manipulative behaviour in relationships. Instead, writer E. L James romanticises this behaviour through turning this story into a romance novel portraying Christian as the ideal man. [1] https://www.dictionary.com/browse/bdsm [2] https://revisesociology.com/2015/11/30/marxist-feminist-perspectives-on-family-life/

Fifty Shades of Gray has highly controversial displays of sexual practices. However, that does not mean it is abuse. It is commonly viewed as abuse because of the extremely unconventional approach to sex. Pleasure is received and given in different ways the audience is not familiar with. The most important thing to consider when labeling something as abuse is consent. In this narrative, all sexual practices happen with full consent. The consent is active. Ana and Christian both sign a contract. Both of them negotiate the terms, and both of them agree to the terms negotiated. When Ana does not like the sexual practices between them, she walks away. Also, Ana and Christian’s contract discuss terms of dominance and submission. Ana is seen to derive pleasure from being submissive. I believe that this image of abuse is easily confused with distaste and discomfort. I'm afraid I have to disagree with the idea of one person as a dominant and the other as submissive. It gives me great distress to see Christian control parts of Ana’s life. However, Ana is okay with it and voices her discomfort when needed. An example of this is in Fifty Shades Freed when she refuses to change her name. Another is when she defends her pregnancy. In conclusion, I believe that Fifty Shades of Gray does not show an abusive relationship. It is a relationship carried out with consent and willingness from both parties. They both have the freedom to walk away at any point. The alleged victim of the abuse (Ana) walks away whenever she feels the need to walk away. She stands up for herself also. Fifty Shades of Gray shows the audience an unconventional approach to relationships.

I completely disagree. Fifty Shades of Grey shows controversial sexual practices between two consensual adults. Anastasia Steel chose to be in the situation in the story. She had several chances where she could have chosen to walk away. Christian does control aspects of her life but it part of the BDSM culture they have both chosen to be apart of. A lot of the BDSM culture controls, one partner having control over the other. But both partners have given permission to be put in the situation and are able to walk away whenever they choose.