Obviously your child should be able to trust you with certain things, but forcing your child to tell you EVERY intimate detail about their personal/private life only leads to you raising a child that becomes very good at lying.

**Is secret-keeping a sign of maturity or mistrust?** **TW: Child abuse** • Many children keep secrets from their parents, from infancy to adulthood. Child psychologists and parenting experts disagree whether this is a natural part of child development or a symptom of parental mistrust that could make the child vulnerable to danger. • Some believe that secret-keeping is a sign of maturity and developing personal boundaries. Research on the [social and cognitive factors of child secret-keeping](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4236250/) has found that secret-keeping increased with age and suggested positive development. • A study of secrets among 3-5 year olds find that young children use secrets [to form intimate relationships](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03004430.2012.719227?journalCode=gecd20) with their peers, and associate secrets with happiness, games, and imaginative play. • Others fear that keeping secrets from parents can put children at risk of danger, such as [child abuse](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/age-un-innocence/201301/why-are-your-kids-so-secretive). Many encourage open conversations between parent and child, to build a strong support system for the child. Keeping secrets can be tied to shame, which can be harmful to [mental health and wellbeing](https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/09/hidden-world-secrets).