Approaches to men’s health emerge from feminist critiques of gender construction, patriarchy and the performative nature of femininity and masculinity. Judith Butler identifies gender as being performed and suggests that gestures, movements and acts work together to produce the illusion of an abiding gender (Butler 1988). It is this concept of performativity which essentially underpins the sex/gender debate; the idea that sex is biologically determined whereas gender is a result of social construction. Adhering to traditional masculinity and the assertion of male dominance can be potentially lethal for many men, with male suicides accounting for three quarters of annual suicides in the UK. Men should thus be encouraged to seek help, show emotion and oppose dangerous gender stereotypes, in essence, men should be encouraged to cry. Butler, J. (1988). Performative Acts and Gender Constitution: An Essay in Phenomenology and Feminist Theory. Theatre Journal, 40(4), 519-531.

Men should be much more in touch with their emotional side in general. And furthermore, we should do more to learn about men's experience and emotional expression. Despite overrepresentation, a lot of men's inner experiences haven't been as researched as you might expect. Speaking as a guy, it has taken me years to be able to look inwards at myself and not see a running set of numbers, stats, and rankings. I know many men who struggle with this as well. When you see the world through this lens, you feel like your meaning is entirely functional. Like, the idea of having value for simply existing is completely foreign. You are instead ever longing for a function, and if someone else fills that function, you feel lesser for it. That being said, our focus on crying or other direct outward expressions might be misplaced if we emphasize it too much. Simply put, while we feel the same emotions, it is generally just naturally harder to express these emotions. I can't recall the study so don't take my word for this, but there was a study that looked into this which found that men generally don't cry of sadness as women do, cry much less easily from frustration, but cry somewhat more easily than women from happiness. What I'm saying is that we need to be okay with men crying, but it shouldn't necessarily be an obligation to do so. That is, if you don't cry easily, there's nothing wrong with you. You just shouldn't feel the need to hold it back when the time comes.

**Men should be allowed to express themselves freely, in whatever way that makes them feel the most comfortable.** - Men shouldn't *have* to do anything. There should be no "Men shouldn't cry", "Men should cry". Men should be allowed to feel free and express themselves in any means necessary. - Men have the highest UK suicide rates. They are [75%](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjvu7_MjdfyAhXLbsAKHZdnCbcQFnoECAsQAw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FSuicide_in_the_United_Kingdom&usg=AOvVaw2xBb5sF4ZH0vz0W01f96K_) of the total suicides. This is partly due to society putting toxic expectations on them. However by saying"Men should cry", we are still putting that expectation on them. We are still pressuring them and expecting them to act a certain way. - What we should be saying is "It is okay to express yourself freely, whatever way to you feel most comfortable".

Men "should cry" as many people gain their identities through gender stereo-types. Creating a gender stereotype where men "should" cry would influence society in becoming accepting of the right for men to be influenced and even "over whelmed" by their emotions. While I agree that the ideal is that men shouldn't have to do anything and no acts should define you as masculine, or not masculine, the fact is, many people are influenced strongly in their identities and actions by simple stereo-types of what they should and shouldn't be. Or put another way, without gender stereo-types many people struggle with knowing how to express themselves. They do not know what is acceptable and what is not acceptable and look to the media to find acceptable ways of expressing themselves. I have listened to female friends, struggling with how to be "caring" in some situations, when they weren't naturally very caring people, simply because society said they should be caring. If also listened to men telling me about full blown arguments with their female partners about whether "putting out the bins/trash is a man's or woman's job" leading to them walking out . My point is many many people, of whatever sex, struggle with how to express their masculine or female identity. They cannot think for themselves. Their is a magazine industry that cashes in on this, where icons of masculinity or femininity express what they do. The idea is that the reader of these magazine, then feels up on the latest or acceptable ways of expressing their masculinity or femininity in everything from opinions to style of dress. They then follow suit or know where they are with their choices concerning how to express their masculinity and femininity. This is the world as it is, unfortunately. Some people cannot think for themselves in terms of self definition. They need role models. I believe that by creating an image that men "should cry" we would influence men who are influenced and follow societies conventions. This would allow them to express their emotions more honestly and openly. As to whether society needs to combat it, I have no statistics to quote, as some of my fellow commentators have but below is some of the things that some of my female friends have said about men and their emotions: 1. "What does it matter how a man feels?"" (a female friend discussing a potential male partner) 2. "It doesn't matter how you feel. It should only matter how the woman feels. That is what a man should focus on." ( A date of mine discussing how all interactions, should go between a man and his partner. She meant I should never think about how I felt, only about how she felt.) 3. "I've heard of women crying...." (In this case, I was being told off, by a female friend, for crying at a sad story in a story telling performance, where the emotions of loss, duty, loyalty and sacrifice came out. I didn't see anything wrong with crying at a sad story. She did, as that was the province of women!) With society wide, strongly held beliefs in the uk, such as those expressed above, ( held, not just by many women, but by many men) then I think a new simple stereo-type would do a lot of good.