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TL;DR: The idea that there is one soul out of the 7 billion “souls” on the planet that is most perfectly compatible with your own, and that the two souls are destined to collide, is unfortunately logistically impossible, and believing it can be harmful. Lots of people could be equally compatible partners, it just depends on when you meet them and how much effort you put in.
Some people are compatible, some people are not. Of the people who are compatible, there may be some that are more compatible than others, but for the most part it is more a matter of difference of compatibility. Different people can be compatible in different ways, connecting with different parts of you, even depending on the stage of life you’re in. And ultimately, it’s impossible to know if there is someone more compatible out there.
If this person did exist, Randall Munroe, NASA roboticist, puts the odds of finding them this way: “Let’s suppose you lock eyes with an average of a few dozen new strangers each day, if 10 percent of them are close to your age, that’s around 50,000 people in a lifetime. Given that you have 500,000,000 potential soul mates [total people in your age range], it means you’ll only find true love in one lifetime out of 10,000.”
Further, believing in “soulmates” (as they are traditionally understood) can even be damaging, as it puts too much pressure on the relationship to be perfect, and may discourage the individuals from working on their problems or accepting their partners flaws if they are in search of a perfect match. Conversely, it can cause people to overlook significant issues if they’ve convinced themselves that this is their soulmate.
It can also increase disappointment during breakups if one believes that there is no-one else for them.
The belief that soulmates exist does not mean that they are the only soul mate for you in the world, how could we know when there are so many people we will never meet.
The belief that we need to meet one person to live happily ever after is in most cases the stuff of romantic fiction, but I do believe that if a compatible soul is found then it is possible to live happily ever after providing that the inevitable highs and lows are faced together and you stop looking and comparing.
Partners become soulmates as shared experiences enrich their lives. The happiest couples I know bring out the best in each other.
Relationships are often difficult but to be with someone you couldn't imagine being without is possible, and yes,soulmates do exist.
I agree, the term 'soulmates' does not necessarily mean that you only have one chance at finding someone compatible with you. I believe in the idea of a 'soulmate' and an intimate connection with another human being, and I am speaking from personal experience. Also, the idea of a soulmate gives people hope that there is the possibility of deeply connecting with another and sharing thoughts, ideas and experiences. Believing in soulmates does not mean you are a gooey romantic, and it certainly does not mean that a relationship has to be perfect. The whole idea of soulmates means accepting the other's graces and flaws at the same time.
TL; DR Soulmates do exist- but perhaps not in the way you might expect.
The idea that once in your lifetime an individual will appear fully formed as your perfect counterpart is flawed.
The word "soulmate" is loaded with pop culture association. So many romances rely on parties being drawn constantly; inexorably together by fate- to destruction or salvation. In reality, fatalism is not conducive to a healthy relationship.
The trope looms so large that it masks the real world significance of the word. It's subjective. The word "soul" is itself a stumbling block- there are many ways of interpreting it, secular and non-secular. If a soul is something intrinsic and inherent which inhabits your body impervious to all outside influence, "soulmate" may mean something very different than it would under a less literal interpretation. The uniting principle, however it finds its expression, is about reciprocally sharing yourself with someone. (1) This is all the good things and all the less good things; and perhaps an acknowledgement that the less good things are indeed..less good, but are a part of the person nonetheless. Knowing and being known.
This isn't instantaneous. It can take months; years, decades, lifetimes.
A soulmate doesn't need to be romantic. If you've had a best friend since you were a child- your very first friend- does it occur to you that there might be a better one out there and that you should hedge your bets accordingly? Probably not. What's made that friendship so strong is the shared experiences and the opportunity they have made for you to see each others flaws and blessings. Throughout all of this, you've become something to each other- romantic relationships are no exception. A soulmate is made, not born. (2)
Loved this point... Thanks!
TL;DR Soulmates do exist but there are many of them, not just one person.
I think that the term soulmates has been popularised to be associated with a romantic partner. However, I think soulmates is much more complex than this. We can find soulmates who are our friends, family and even our pets. It is about the people who we have a strong connection with, who we feel close to and can trust. They are the people who stand out in a crowd for us. The type of people you feel so comfortable and at ease around.
I believe that in our lifetimes we meet so many soulmates. It is those people we feel that we have chemistry with and that they just 'get us'. I believe that some of these soulmates are with us for our whole lives, whilst some of them are only there for a temporary period. They all teach us valuable lessons about life and provide us with great experience / memories.
For example, throughout your life you will have a variety of platonic soulmates that are all so important but for different reasons. These can include the first friend you ever make (your childhood friend), the friend you meet who might change your view on the world and intrigues your intellect, a friend who might encourage you to be adventurous and travel with them.
Soulmates are simply a person who we have a much deeper connection with. Everyone will meet many soulmates throughout their lifetime.
WORKS CITED:
Sanci Elissa, 'Multiple Soulmates: What if we really do have more than one soulmate?' (16 November 2020), https://thoughtcatalog.com/elissa-sanci/2014/06/what-if-we-really-do-have-more-than-one-soul-mate/#:~:text=A%20person%20has%20multiple%20soulmates,be%20both%20romantic%20and%20platonic.&text=Romantic%20soul%20mates%20are%20trickier,you%20know%20you%20have%20to.
I think the idea of a soulmate is harmful because it leads to perfectionism in a domain where people don't have time for perfectionism. (dating)
Compatibility is ultimately the end goal of a long term relationship and is a result of both parties willing to work on themselves. Viewing compatibility as a pre-requisite for a relationship will likely close off avenues to potential partners.
The traditional idea of a soul mate is of one person in the world, who romantically speaking, you are meant to be with and spend our life with. These days the notion has also come about that once you find them, you will have no more problems. Rather than the traditional view that you will go through "thick and thin" with them.
First I would like to take issue with the idea that you can do a statistical analysis of how likely you are to find your soulmate, if there is one person out there in all the world that is your soulmate.
The word: "soul" in itself implies that we are dealing with a spiritual subject and that there is magic in the world. To me, once magic is involved, you also accept that things like "meaning and intent" have power in the world. So straight forward statistical analysis cannot predict how likely things are to happen. You cannot predict how likely you are to meet your soulmate if magic is involved.
The rest of my points are based on experience, observation and deduction:
When soulmates meet they find they have an immediate connection and find it easy to get on and feel attraction to each other. Some soulmates, claim they knew: "This is the person I am going to marry, within one hour of meeting them"
They may find they share values that they find very important, that set them apart from the vast majorities of other peoples values. This unusual view the may share and hold without having had to discuss it. Also on a deep level they share each others strongest values more generally.
They may also find there is a telepathic connection.
Also, they mind find despite distance, they have a weird sychronicity of experience. That is what is happening in one of their lives is happening in the others person's life and this link, is strong enough to be noticed and commentated on.
People may find, that if they were to share their deepest livelong stumbling blocks, (the ones that we fear to share because we fear most people would reject us ), our soulmate would simply smile with pleasure and say: "I can and would love to help you with that" .
Romantic soulmates can help and would love to help with our soul deep, life long stumbling blocks; that is one of the reason they are soulmates
A romantic soulmate is someone who is a perfect fit, a missing piece to our souls' deep issues and we to theirs. After meeting them and persuing the connection our souls "mate" and we grow more whole.
However it is never going to be easy and without problems. Nothing in life is. How manypeople do you share those deep issues and emotional burdens with, that set you apart and might make them reject you? If you don't share them with your soulmate, they are unlikely to find out just how deep this connection goes.
Even with a soulmate life is still going to have many problems.
Where as I believe there is only one romantic soulmate, I believe romantic growth and development is possible with lots of people who fit you romantically. If you miss your soulmate for whatever reason, you still can grow and feel loved.
There also friends we make, who see into us, with whom we share deep values from the first moment we meet them and have a friendship that will support and help us and them, grow.
I think it is unwise to obesses and wait for a soulmate but I believe soulmate do exist.
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